Still with the Waiting

My appointment with the doctor isn't until tomorrow, but in the meantime, I've been checking my sugar all weekend. It's been running from around the 260 range all the way up to a high of 402, which is sort of what I expected with my A1C as high as it was. I've mainly been getting morning and bedtime readings, but I've also done a few post-prandial checks after different meals. I also figured out that a slice of caramel-icing birthday cake increased it by about 80 points.

It's been a little frustrating to see how high my glucose is and not be able to treat it. I've tried to keep telling myself that it's just to gather information to take with me to my appointment tomorrow, but that doesn't always work. I've been pretty distracted at work and some even at home, and at every meal I get this sense of either frustration and loss (when I deny myself the "bad" stuff) or guilt and fear (when I eat the "bad" stuff anyway). I want to eat right, but I'm already feeling some twinges of rebellion when good-intentioned loved ones offer me "sugar free" foods.

So far, I've already cut out sugary drinks, which isn't a big deal except for my beloved sweet tea (since I do live in the South, you know). And while I haven't eaten very well at every meal, I have been very aware of the foods that are being served and how freaking terrible most of them are for me. It's going to be a huge deal to change my diet. Again, being in the South means meals full of potatoes, biscuits, rolls, cake, fried foods, gravy, and pie. Since I'm not much of a vegetable person, even the "healthy" part of my diet consists of sweeter fruits (like apples, watermelon, and strawberries... sometimes even augmented by a few spoonfuls of sugar).

But enough talk about food. Today, along with actually doing my job, of course, I'm going to be getting my thoughts together about what I want to ask my doctor for in the way of treatment. I'm pretty sure that, based on recent research and talking with the employee health nurse, I'm going to ask for a basal insulin (Lantus) along with metformin. It's pretty aggressive, but with how high my sugar is and how difficult it will be for me to make a lasting lifestyle change (and lose the weight I need to shed), I just want to jump on top of it and get things under control first. Heck, a year or two and a hundred pounds from now, I'll happily stop insulin shots. But until I reach that point, I want to make sure that this sugar isn't affecting my long-term health.

I guess that's enough for today, but I'll get back to you tomorrow with what happens.